Poor Imp

keeps up suspense pretty well. I think I would be more involved though, if you inserted a bit more description, outwardly, of the characters; even just a scrap here or ...

To snoik; cool poem , but i dont realy i?and a quistion, do i have to reply to each reply everytime like im doing now? I'll spare Snoink the moment ...

I will agree with the point of it certainly being a fragment; :wink: not a complete story by any stretch - if a complete snapshot. But hollow is really what ...

(Dude - I just translated it. Latin in mine, BTW, means - "from shadow and illusion into truth". That's roughly. It sounds so much smoother in latin. Ah well. ...and ...

was dark, intriguing by description - and I assume vague by intent on character . (Well, that makes sense in third person limited.) The only thing that stuck out to ...

Definitely a snapshot. So, in that sense, it's more an introduction... But it's obscure, it's not flat plotless - simply plotted. The entire point is that you don't know why ...

...I have only to say - watch the dialogue that it doesn't get awkward. Nothing sounded entirely out of place until... Percy nodded stiffly. “Aye aye, sir,” he chimed, his ...

6/10 ...clever, funny. :D (And the Latin in mine, BTW, means - "from shadow and illusion into truth". That's roughly. It sounds so much smoother in latin. Ah well. ...and ...

WHy would she say she was alright then shake her head and complain? I think this bit needs rewording. No, it was very intentional. Thanks for the reply though. :D ...

I suppose I ought to go on. (Thanks, by the way, for the welcome, Doe.) A note on fencing isn't really a biography, auto or otherwise. I've told stories since ...

I thought I ought to post something in the literary forums. I'm rather content with this. But any thoughts or comments are welcome. Any one have a guess why, at ...

Hoy, Blob... Or should it be Blob, ahoy? :shock: Welcome anyhow. :D Interesting place this; I am, in fact, just settling in myself. I hope you like writing. :wink:

...I'm still involved - I like it. But it seemed...maybe a little rushed? It might just be the format. Double-space between paragraphs would help. Oh well. All I have to ...

9/10 :lol: 'Love the quote. Excuse my ignorance...but is it one of your stories?

That was...well, I don't say great only because it sounds too bright. But I very much enjoyed reading it. Inner debate and curt sentences kept my attention throughout; and not ...